


Camisado

by Jamilton



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Flirting, Blushing, Cliche, Coffee, Coffee Shops, College, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Everyone Is Gay, First Meetings, Flirting, Gay, Humor, I mean don't we all?, Jealousy, Late Night Conversations, Late Night Writing, Late at Night, Like split-second and not even worth the tag, M/M, Meet-Cute, Mutual Pining, Names, Oblivious, One Shot, Pining, Rivalry, Sleep Deprivation, Thomas just likes being difficult, kinda enemies, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton/pseuds/Jamilton
Summary: Alex could've sworn that there was a 'u' in that name - unless there wasn't, in which case, he'd look like an idiot.---In which Alex briefly forgets how to spell and Thomas takes this far too personally





	Camisado

**Author's Note:**

> Or, the Obligatory, Cliche Coffee Shop Au that took me about three weeks to write.

It was late at night. Alex was barely standing, leaning over the counter in some sort of attempt to preserve energy and put a bit of weight off of his legs. The shop was completely deserted, but Alex had a full hour left before he was permitted to close up and return home.

He preferred the place when customers weren't there. The painfully vast majority of clients were pretentious, and one time Alex had made the mistake of asking someone whether they wanted a plastic or paper cup. The man proceeded to rant about _capitalism_ and how Alex was _personally_ killing puppies and the environment.

He had learned not to ask questions after that.

Though, this was especially difficult to cope with when he was so sleep deprived he could barely stay upright, let alone remember stupid, convoluted orders and deal with prissy assholes when he forgot that they wanted a specific sequence to make the drink, despite the fact that it didn't make a difference in the end.

If he could quit, he would, but student debt was a looming cloud and he needed the work experience as well as the money. Which was how he found himself trying to keep his eyes open, trying to endure the time he needed yo remain.

Nobody was going to arrive this late at night. Or, Alex supposed, glacing at his phone, early morning. He tried to occupy himself to make sure he didn't fall asleep, but soon gave up, slouched over the counter from exhaustion. In his defense, it was a Monday, and he had been on this shift for six hours, and had dealt with an additional five hours of lectures and school work.

The second the door opened and the bell chimed so loudly he physically jumped with a small yelp. He sharply glanced up, before regretting that decision when his eyes could barely keep up with the sudden introduction of light.

He inwardly groaned.

_Who the fuck purchases coffee at one in the morning?_

Regardless, he plastered on a rehearsed smile that was certainly more forced than usual. He barely glanced at the person who was stupid enough to waltz in at a stupid time. On autopilot, Alex asked, "What can I get you?"

Instead of replying, the man passed him a slip of paper, then stared down at his phone, completely uninterested in whatever Alex was doing. Alex paused, caught off guard, before he hesitantly took the slip of paper and unfolded it. In neat, sprawling writing, the words written read; _Triple, Soy, No Foam, Latte_.

Alex raised an eyebrow, incredulous. He glanced up, looking at the man as though to ask if he had just written down one of the most obnoxious order in the world. The man huffed, glancing up at Alex with a frown. "Problem?"

Alex was not in the mood for arrogant idiots who felt as though interacting with some common barista was below him. He tapped a pen against the counter loudly, just to see a flick of irritation pass against the man's face at Alex's lack of an answer. "Your name?"

"Thomas." The man replied tersely, lips thinning. Alex supposed that the other man had picked up on how his name wasn't needed, but the fact that he was able to get some kind of reaction was enough.

His movements were mostly robotic, mind thankfully at a blank due to just how exhausted he was. He pulled off the lid to his pen, before faltering. Alex frowned to himself, trying to work out how to spell that name.

Was there a ' _u_ '?

Alex could've sworn that there was a ' _u_ ' - unless there wasn't, in which case, he'd look like an idiot.

 _Thumoss_? Alex hesitated, trying to work out a different way that made more sense. Perhaps there wasn't a 'h'. Alex wasn't entirely sure, but when he spelt it out in his mind, it just didn't feel correct. Though, it was the only thing he could think of.

Alex supposed it was close enough, and he guessed that his sleep-addled attempts would be promptly ignored since the man probably didn't feel the need to bother himself with such a mundane task.

Without another word, he pressed the cup into the man's hand and moved back, mind already drifting to other topics, namely his term paper and how he was going to find time to complete it. He was soon brought back to the present when the man continued to stand there, drink in his hand, and a small, calculating frown on his face.

Alex tried not to scowl. "Is there a problem?"

"Who the fuck is _Tumoss_?" The man asked.

Alex took a second or so to catch up with what was happening. He glanced down at the paper cup, reading his own scrawled handwriting. Rather belatedly, he realised that this wasn't the correct way to spell a name, but he still couldn't work it out.

Rather than admit that he was too damn tired to spell his own name, let alone the name of a complete stranger, he made direct eye contact. "I see no issue."

"I think you need glasses." The man retorted, tapping his fingers impatiently against the counter. Personally, Alex thought that the man needed to take his order and fuck off, but he quite liked the steady income.

Alex smiled innocently. He pretended to give his answer some consideration, before he responded. "No, I'm sure I spelt Thermos correctly."

"I'm sure you think you did, Salamander, but my name is Thomas, not... whatever that is." The man said evenly after he glanced down to Alex's name tag.

Alex wasn't entirely sure why he felt so _offended_ , but he certainly _was_. He took a half step back, hand rising to his chest as though he had just been aggrieved beyond repair. "Excuse me, asshole?"

"You heard me." The man replied, taking a sip of his coffee and looking down at Alex, as though he was nothing more than a disappointment. "I was going to say goodbye but fuck it, I don't want to spare social niceties to a stranger who dresses like the physical embodiment of depression."

"The fuck?" He questioned out loud, but the stranger was already walking away, towards the door with a drink that Alex vindictively hoped would cause him a heart attack. He tried again, calling out, "I hope you trip over and spill your coffee on your stupid fucking shirt!"

"Duly noted." The man replied, turning to spare Alex a smirk and raise his cup in mock salute. Alex scowled in response, but the man left with his stupid coffee intact and arrogance still prominent.

As soon as the the door clicked shut, Alex sighed, and checked the time. Twenty minutes down, and a fucking eternity to go.

 

 

***

 

 

The next time Alex has the misfortune of dealing with who he had dubbed ' _the-late-night-coffee-asshole',_ or 'Thomas', for short, it was a relatively early time, not when Alex was so tired he barely had an active thought.

The day immediately following the first encounter was a mixture of bemusement and him sceptically examining the event over and over. For one, it had been late at night, and sleep deprivation was well known for causing hallucinations. Additionally, he directly insulted a customer, and it would be something close to a miracle if his ass wasn't fired.

Also, he couldn't quite get over the fact that 'Thomas' had written down his order and wordlessly handed it over to him, with no greeting or acknowledgment whatsoever. How Alex had decided not to bring that up was beyond him.

The most likely scenario - asides from Alex having a rather unfortunate lapse in sanity and making up the entire experience - was that 'Thomas' wouldn't return for the second time. Judging by the fact that Alex had never seen him before, he wasn't regular. Furthermore, the fact that Alex probably called him an asshole (his memory of exact words were blurry, but the intent was there) would probably dissuade 'Thomas' from continuing to visit.

Surprisingly, Alex wasn't particularly upset by this realisation.

Which was why, when 'Thomas' strolled in the coffee shop (at _half past six)_ wearing a purple suit that offended Alex's eyes, Alex immediately looked to Peggy in a nonverbal plea for her to take over customer interaction.

"Hell no." Peggy hissed, eyes narrowed. "I've been dealing with edgy hipsters who think they get a free pass because it's early morning - for three hours. Tag, you're it."

Alex glared, but knew full well his efforts were in vain. Peggy loathed dealing with this particular brand of clientele as much as Alex did, which meant that she'd sooner burn the establishment down than interact with them for longer than needed.

'Thomas' saw him several moments later and his shoulders rised then fell, indicating that he was sighing. Alex automatically scowled in response, before remembering that he could be fired, and he strained to keep his expression more neutral.

"Your order?" Alex asked, and proceeded to mentally pause when his voice sounded so bland and dull. 'Thomas' raised an eyebrow, and again, he slid a piece of paper across the counter. Alex rolled his eyes, picking the slip up. "Seriously, what is it with you and paper?"

"I'm used to having baristas with short memory." 'Thomas' answered, tapping his fingers against the counter impatiently. "I think this makes your job easier, Adam."

Alex narrowed his eyes, somehow insulted  _again_. "Wow, okay. Just - _wow_."

Without another word, he stepped back from the counter and opened the stupid slip of paper. Alex privately decided that, if this happened again, Alex would announce that he suddenly couldn't read, just to piss the other man off.

Peggy specialized in obnoxious drink orders and creativity, so the momemt he read the instruction (iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with soy milk), he knew to pass it to her. There was a pause, and Peggy smiled a tiny bit, shaking her head at Alex's evident frustration.

"Name?" She questioned, wielding a sharpie in one hand and the cold, probably over seventy percent sugar drink. 

"Leave that to me." Alex replied, suddenly cheering at the thought of getting revenge, regardless of how petty it was. Peggy paused, before catching his meaning, and grinning in response.

With a tiny smile to himself, he put the cup onto the counter, hoping that 'Thomas' would notice and be as offended as Alex was when his name was purposefully butchered. Almost sensing his line of thought, he picked up his cup and sighed.

"Tinnitus." 'Thomas' stated slowly. He sighed heavily, not looking surprised, but merely disappointed. "I'm sorry - actually I'm _not sorry_ \- but how the hell is Thomas even distantly similar to a symptom."

"You're a symptom." Alex muttered under his breath. 'Thomas' glared, his jaw twitching slightly, so Alex said loudly, "Both names have an ' _i_ ' in them."

"No." 'Thomas' said simply. " _No_."

Alex didn't even try not to grin; the irritation 'Thomas' felt was too amusing not to. The reaction was entirely overdramatic, so Alex didn't care if he was called out on it. After a split second of hesitation, 'Thomas' just sighed, taking his drink with him and not sparing another word.

"You're welcome!" Alex called after him. 'Thomas' merely flicked a dismissive hand before exiting the coffee shop. Alex watched him leave, making sure he was actually gone, but he smiled at the next client. "What can I get you?"

The client rolled her eyes, putting her cell phone away ( _Nokia Brick_ , needlessly dated for what she thought was _aesthetic_ ). Alex was able to hold back his more unsavoury thoughts on how much he disliked people for the rest of his shift. Occasionally, in the rush hours, Peggy would join him.

"When you said you'd sort out the name, I thought you were going to write down your phone number, not insult him." Peggy mused. "Is that your weird version of flirting? If so, I raised you better than that."

"He's an asshole." Alex shrugged, uncaring. "If I'm allowed to piss someone off and get away with it, I don't see the issue."

"I never said it was an issue." Peggy replied. She pointedly sipped her coffee - likely a conflict of interest when working a shift - and tapped her acrylic nails against her arm. "Whatever, Alex, you do you. If I come back to find you two fu-"

"Peggy!" Alex snapped, voice lightening an octave in surprise, though he really shouldn't be. "Damn, just do your job and quit badgering me."

 

 

***

 

 

The next time they meet, Alex had willingly taken a night shift. It was the only time he could be left alone in the coffee shop and still get paid. He was balancing his laptop on the counter, unconcerned about anyone entering since it was such a rarity.

He was able to work on his law dissertation with a wonderfully steady supply of caffeine and make more progress than he did during actual study lessons, especially since he ended up spending most of his time procrastinating and talking to his classmates.

When the door made its stupidly loud chime, Alex didn't startle like last time. He predicted that the only person annoying enough to bother the world at a mere hour past midnight would be Thomas, and he was promptly proven right when he glanced up.

"Damn, what is it with you and stupid timing?" Alex questioned, crossing his arms against his chest.

"That's rather hypocritical." Thomas retorted, before a small smirk pulled at his lips and head his head slightly, innocently asking, "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"Wow, okay. You shouldn't insult me when I'm probably going to make your stupid coffee." Alex scowled, then hastily addedd, "And I'm _nineteen_ , so don't treat me like a goddamn child."

"Two years younger than me."

"What's up with the suits?" Alex asked, eyeing the pale pink blazer and what had to be one of the ugliest shirt in the entire world. It hurt Alex's head to think about - either that, or the lack of sleep was finally catching up with him.

"What do you mean?" Thomas frowned, glancing down at his shirt then back at Alex in calculation. "I'm the very pinnacle of modern style. There's nothing up with my suit."

"Oh, _nothing_. Truly." Alex deadpanned.

"Oh, shut up." Thomas said, sounding completely unfazed. Alex frowned, trying to find out how to agitate Thomas without losing his dignity or his job when Thomas slid his usual piece of paper across the counter.

"Half sweet, non-fat, caramel macchiato." Alex read out slowly. He then re-read it silently to himself before he glanced up at Thomas. "How the hell do you make a caramel macchiato _half sweet_? It's literally got the word caramel in it, you're asking for a lot."

"Well, I asked for a drink, not attitude." Thomas retorted. Alex rolled his eyes, making a show of reading the pretentious order once more before pocketing it with an admittedly overdramatic sigh. "You major in law?"

"No, I decided to panic-write a law dissertation for shits and giggles." Alex replied, focusing on the task at hand. The machinery, for all its appearance, was not as complex as it looked, and macchiatos (normally followes by _make sure it's vegan_ ) were the third most common orders.

"Political Science is better." Thomas announced. Rather threateningly, Alex crossed the room to grab at a handful of salt packets and hover them dangerously above Thomas's drink. In response, hands were thrown up in mock defense. "Objection. Defendant is being predjudicial."

"Oh my God, _no_." Alex muttered.

"I heard that, Albert." Thomas said, leaning against the counter to read Alex's dissertation better. "Hey, being unable to spell is a theme with you. The word mistrial doesn't have a 'h' in it."

"Just like your name." Alex added, finishing with the coffee and moving over to view his work. Thomas, unfortunately, was correct. Instead of fixing his mistake, he opted to make it worse by adding an 'f'.

"What will it be today?" Thomas asked, probably to himself. He took the coffee from Alex and read the name. "Termpos. What?"

"You're saying it wrong." Alex informed.

Thomas rolled his eyes, tilting the drink slightly to read the name better. Woth his words clipped, he stated, "I think I know how to say my own name."

"It's more Term-os." Alex explained slowly, as though he was talking to a young child. Thomas looked at him sceptically, so Alex decided to elaborate in an overly pronounced tone, "The p is silent, like in pterodactyl."

"You should be silent." Thomas retorted.

"It's one in the morning. _You_ should be asleep." Alex shrugged, which brought up the question of _why_ he was up so early. Thomas's lips quirked up, and he took a sip from his cup of liquidated pretention.

"Never knew you cared." Thomas mused, not offering an explanation.

"I don't, I just want you to fuck off." Alex snapped, gestured at the door for further emphasis. Thomas raised an eyebrow, likely about to say something along the lines of Alex actually liking him, so Alex continued. "And before you say that _I love you really,_  I would harvest your organs in your sleep, so don't test me."

"Whatever, Ajax." Thomas scoffed, dismissing his protest before he could continue to give half-bothered threats.

"You _know_ that's not my name." Alex glowered. He pointed at his tag, where his full name was written in admittedly messy but still fucking legible. Rather innocently, "It's right here, can't you read?"

"You mean it isn't Andy?" Thomas asked, feigning confusion.

"It is." Alex said loudly in a deadpanned voice, his sarcasm rather obviously showing through, but Thomas pretended to not hear it. "You fucking got it. Incredible. My name is Andy Hamilton."

"We've already established that my name is Termpos Jefferson." Thomas added, which made Alex surprisingly huff a small laugh. As unexpected as it was, being able to talk to another human whilst working on his dissertation and given the freedom to actually voice his opinions was something of a godsend. Even if Thomas was certainly an arrogant asshole, Alex was able to admit that his company was appreciated moreso than the usual condescending stranger. Primarly because Alex was allowed to insult Thomas and get away with it.

"What is it with your orders?" Alex eventually enquired, tone distant, and whilst he was certainly listening for the answer, his focus was split between both listening and proof reading. "Are you genuinely that pretentious? Is this petty revenge against a dentist?"

Thomas didn't answer for a few seconds, which caused Alex to glance up, only to find that he was being pinned with a look of critical examination. "Do you want to know a secret?"

"Oh no." Alex said. For a reason rather conspicuous to him, Thomas's words did not bode well.

Thomas grinned, a quick flash across his face before he controlled his expression into something more serious. He lowered his voice, glancing around them, as though checking if anyone else was stupid enough to function at an early time. "I drink black coffee. This entire thing is because I enjoy being a mild inconvenience."

The words took a second or so to sink in. Then, Alex groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in a wave of pure, unadulterated exasperation. "You're wasting five dollars every fucking day, what the fuck?"

"I still pay for it." Thomas pointed out.

Alex was going to further his previous point by underlining just how much time, money, and energy Thomas was wasting. He just shook his head, and pointed to a corner. "Stand over there, I can't stand your stupidity right now."

"Whatever you say, Arthur." Thomas dismissed, returning to nursing his coffee that Alex now wanted to set on fire. A few minutes of pause fell between them, surprisingly relaxed despite the fact that Alex barely knew Thomas. "When do you close up?"

Alex startled slightly, not expecting the sudden question. Thomas, unfortunately, caught this and seemed vaguely amused by his reaction. Instead of offering excuses, he decided to evade any type of acknowledgment. "Two hours from now. Why do you waltz in at stupid o'clock?"

"It's when my lecture ends." Thomas shrugged. "My Wednesday lecture starts at five and ends by six."

"Ouch." Alex winced, before reasoning that his sympathy was entirely unwarranted; on an outward level, at least, Thomas seemed rather well-adjusted to early and late hours. If so, Alex wondered if Thomas was a morning person. The answer would probably be yes since he was an asshole and wanted to aggravate everyone with normal morning temperaments.

Thomas paused. "Did I just get empathy from _you_ , a cold-hearted, probably dead inside lizard?"

"No empathy here." Alex said, not choosing to deny anything else. Thomas, naturally, caught this, and smirked, but didn't call him out on it. Alex moved backwards a bit, placing his palms flat on his counter. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Thomas didn't hesitate. "Not really."

 

 

**

 

 

By the time Alex had finished and handed in his dissertation, his mind had turned to mush and he simply couldn't think with his usual accuracy and precision. Instead of shouldering the sheer blankness of his mind, he decided _fuck it,_ and called in sick.

His boss didn't really give a damn - instead, he encouraged it, insisting that Alex needed far, _far_ more than one day - but Alex refused any more time off. He supposed it was the only benefit of not working in a chain; his boss could actually remember his name, unlike _every_ customer he'd ever served.

Regardless, he still needed to finish his term paper, and the mere suggestion of him being able to afford WiFi that didn't go slower than Aaron Burr doped up on sedatives was an insult. So, despite taking the day off, he ended up returning to work and attempted valiantly not to feel insulted when Peggy laughed at him. Even his explanations went unheard, as Peggy was more interested in viciously mocking him.

Perhaps viciously mocking was too harsh, but Alex was past caring and far too tired to give a damn. Though, in some form of silent apology, Peggy slid him a cup of coffee ' _on the house_ '. Unfortunately, it wasn't drugged, so Alex had the misfortune of having three hours straight in the mercy of his own thoughts.

Eventually, though, when Alex was tired of deleting and typing the same sentence over and over, and Peggy was on her first break, his laptop was discarded.

"I think they're intimidated." Peggy decided. Both her and Alex were sitting to a table on the side, observing the way that customers would recognise either of the pair and give them confused looks. "They aren't used to their coffee gremlins having social lives."

"We're part of a revolution." Alex added. When a woman was acting especially conspicuous, pointing at them, then the growning line, and whispering to her friend, Alex flashed a false grin and raised his coffee mug in mock salute. The woman paled, ducked her head, but Peggy gave an amused snort.

The conversation drifted from how coffee shop patrons acted around them to Peggy and her social and psychology coursework, to how Alex was going to fail and create an emo band in someone's garage.

"You can have mine." Peggy offered cheerfully. "Hey, I know a bassist. If you play guitar and sing, and I learn drums, we could be the best emo garge band in the world."

"What should our name be?" Alex asked. "' _Mom, This Isn't a Phase_ '?"

Peggy hummed, hands intertwining to form a bridge which she rested her chin on. Eventually, her entire expression lit up, and she clicked her fingers. " _The Disappointments_."

"Good idea. That way, people who's failing at life can't join." Alex agreed, leaning back on his chair and surveying the area with a look of distaste. Then, almost aautomatically, his slumped posture straightened and he narrowred his eyes. "Speaking of _failing at life._.."

Peggy frowned in confusion before following Alex's line of sight and smiled brightly. She tapped Alex's arm knowingly. "Your  _boyfriend's_ here. Hey, Thomas, over here!"

Alex glared with something akin to mutiny, but refused to dignify her comment with a response. Additionally, he also tried to put all his willpower towards somehow getting Thomas to stay away from him because he just knew that Peggy was going to be merciless.

Thomas, naturally, did the exact opposite of what he wanted.

The moment Thomas caught sight of him, Alex wasn't sure who was going to be more difficult in this. Though, he would still bet good money on Peggy being the one to cause him the most embarrassment, since she knew more about him. Thomas already had coffee - from a place different to this one, and _why_ Thomas decided to still visit this shop when he had already purchased from another was completely beyond Alex.

Thomas glanced between Peggy and Alex. "Oh, how the turns have tabled."

"That isn't a phrase." Alex sniffed, promptly deciding to return to his course work, feigning boredom at the conversation. Peggy, because she was the worst, pushed out a chair for Thomas.

"Cry me a table, Andrew." Thomas drawled, taking the chair and rolling his eyes when Alex gave an audible and admittedly overdramatic sigh. "What alternative universe is this? You're in the _actual_ real world, like an _actual_ person."

"Shocker, I'm a human being." Alex deadpanned, giving Thomas a serious look. "Society has since collapsed at this stunning reveal."

Thomas scoffed. "Yes, Andre, society revolves around  _you_."

"Is ' _Alex_ ' really so difficult to say?" Alex asked, crossing his arms, glancing to Peggy for some sign of solidarity but found none whatsoever, as she seemed more than content to lean back and sip her coffee.

"Hm?" Thomas seemed to be the picture of innocence, expression lightening as though he couldn't quite understand what Alex had said, but he truly wanted to. "Sorry, I didn't catch that. What did you say?"

" _Alex_." He repeated.

Thomas smiled as though he had gained a sudden comprehension in something. "Bless you."

"Shut up,  _Tom_." Alex said. The reaction was almost immediate; Thomas narrowed his eyes, giving a slight recoil. He thinned his lips, any facade of innocence being dropped so quickly Alex just  _knew_  that he would exploit it. "What's wrong,  _Tommy_?"

"Call me that again." Thomas warned, voice lowering to underline the threat.

Alex leaned forward, a smirk playing at the edges of his lips. "Isn't Tom your name?"

"I'll leave you to it." Peggy interrupted Thomas before he could reply, tapping the table with her nails before standing up. "I know, I know, you'll miss me, but I've been third wheeling on your date for too long."

"It's not a date." Thomas and Alex said in unison. In response, Peggy looked at them with deep scepticism, turning her back and promptly walking away. Thomas added, "At least, not yet."

"What?" Alex asked sharply.

"What?" Thomas repeated.

Alex regarded him in suspicion and didn't reply, though he did frown. Thomas didn't offer an explanation, taking a pointed sip from his cup and continue to keep eye contact, not the slightest bit repentant. 

(And, if he couldn't stop a tiny smile from forming, that was nobody's business).

(Thomas noticed, and matched his smile, finally breaking eye contact to glance almost shyly at the floor, completely contradictory to his loud arrogance, and Alex knew he wanted to see that again).

After this, the pattern was established; at least once every day, Thomas would bother Alex for roughly half an hour before disappearing back to whatever circle of hell he came from. Stupidly, this was the highlight of high entire day - between monotonous lessons imposing the importance of reading from all law textbooks and antsy, holier-than-thou patrons, someone with a shred of self awareness was more than welcomed.

Sometimes, Alex considered writing his phone number on the next cup he handed to Thomas. It would certainly surprise him and the expression would almost definitely be worth any embarrassment Alex could possibly feel. Simultaneously, there was always the horrifying possibility of Thomas not being interested, or worse - _heterosexual_.

So, he abstained from making a move, and settled for almost-but-not-quite suggestions that would almost always gain a blush or a shy look from Thomas. Despite his bravado, Thomas was completely out of his depth when being flirted at, probably used to persuing as opposed to dealing with people like Alex who simply _did not_ wait around and pine after someone he was interested in.

Thomas, naturally, was quick to recover and soon adapted, catching Alex off guard. He had rapidly become used to having his remarks ignored, so when he grinned and announced, "I think you're dealing with something hot here," he did not expect a reply. 

"I'm sure I can take it." Thomas drawled.

Alex froze. He hesitated, briefly forgetting what he was doing, before gingerly settling the warm cup of coffee down. Alex cleared his throat, flailing for some sort of dignified response. "Shut up, you asshole."

Thomas grinned brightly, probably revelling in Alex's moment of weakness. It didn't help that warmth was spreading across his face, giving away just how startled he was. "Whatever you say, Alfresco."

"That's not my name, Tin-Morse." Alex retorted. Thomas sighed, picking up his cup and glaring at the name as though it had personally offended him. "Though, thanks for trying."

"Anything for you, Amos." Thomas stated, seemingly serious, but Alex knew better than to take this to heart. After Alex shooed him away from the cointer with the excuse that Thomas was scaring off customers with his stupidity, he exchanged looks with Peggy.

Peggy shook her head, though the action seemed for her benefit only. "What is it with you two and names?"

Alex sighed, trying to summarise with as few words as possible whilst simultaneously reducing potential questions Peggy could demand the answer two. He flicked a dismissive hand. "It's a whole thing."

Peggy exhaled loudly, and shook her head again. At Alex's indignant expression, she rolled her eyes, exasperated. "You've known him for _one_ month, and yet you have inside jokes and flirt with him for a full twenty minutes every day."

For a secind or so, Alex had to concede the point Peggy was hinting at. "When you phrase it like that, I sound like someone who doesn't know how to ask people on dates."

"Yeah." Peggy readily agreed.

"Well." Alex said. He threw down the closest, non-breakable thing besides him (which kust so happened to be a spoon) and caused a loud clatter. "I came here for a good time, not to be attacked."

"Tough shit." Peggy replied, picking up the spoon and placing it out of Alex's reach. Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "He asks about you, when you're not here. It'd be cute if it wasn't so sad."

"Can you blame him? I mean, look at how cool I am." Alex shrugged, and placed his hand flat over his heart when Peggy scoffed at him.

"Don't forget about your modesty, too."

"I didn't." Alex matched her tone of voice, over-pronouncing his syllables for affect.

"Anyways, you're both killing me. Ask him out, or I will. You're not the only one who's noticed how cute he is." Peggy said. Almost immediately, Alex knew that he had thinned his lips, grimacing. Peggy caught this and promptly placed her head in her hands. "Jesus, I wasn't _serious_ , but that death glare was totally unwarranted! Jealous much?"

Not only did Peggy often and loudly announce that she wasn't interested in dating any men whatsoever _and had a girlfriend_ , but she also insisted that Thomas was as queer as she was, because ' _look at his clothes, can you be any more gay?_ ' All in all, Alex did not look particularly bright in this situation. "We never speak of this again."

Peggy clapped her hands together. "Oh, I will, and in great detail."

"You're so mean to me." Alex muttered, primarly to himself, since he knew Peggy would display no signs of remorse. He was naturally proven right when Peggy nodded in agreement and proceeded to point out how stupid Alex had been to think that a proud lesiban in a committed relationship would seriously ask a man to date her.

Despite a full two or so weeks of Thomas deciding to bother him non-stop, the visits suddenly halted. At first, Alex had presumed the best ( _worst_ ) scenario; Thomas had gotten bored of being an irritant and decided to abandon him. Though, if the past month was any sort of indication, Thomas wasn't someone to drop a grudge without some grand display of drama.

The next day where Alex didn't see him, his guesses were getting more wild - anything from Thomas being caught for arson to spontaneously joining a travelling circus. Worse yet, Peggy was acting both mocking and genuinely sympathetic.

Each time the door would open, Alex would immediately glance up, only to be disappointed without fail. Peggy would grimace to herself and give a probably unintentionally condescending tap on his arm.

 

 

**

 

 

It was on the final shift of the day and Alex was _five minutes_ from going home and completely forgetting the day. He wasn't entirely sure why his boss kept on insisting that people wouls visit for coffee at an unholy hour in the morning, but either way, Alex got paid extra for the late shift.

When the door clicked open, Alex did his automatic _glance-up-and-see-if-the-asshole-has-returned,_ only to take a half step back when he realised that this time - after roughly three days of neglection - Thomas had returned. Alex raised an eyebrow. "Hey, stranger."

"Hey yourself, Adrian." Thomas replied. Surprisingly enough, Alex was not impressed with Thomas's convenient forgetfulness of his name after a full three days of absence.

"My guess is that there's a pretty damn good reason you were prevented from hanging out with the coolest person in the world." Alex stated.

Thomas grinned brightly at Alex, causing his eyes to brighten and his lips to look softer and _how_ Alex had missed that expression before was completely unfathomable. "You? Coolest? I doubt that."

Alex scowled, but befire he could demand an explanation, Thomas placed a heavy file onto the counter. Alex blinked, picking the item up to test the weight, before placing it back down. He turned the file so je could read it. Then, he paused, and glanced at Thomas in surprise. "How the hell did a dumb ass like you get a _distinction_ on your _finals_?"

"Don't be petty." Thomas chided.

" _Don't be petty_." Alex mimicked, making his voice jump an octave.

Thomas rolled his eyes. He took his folder back, placing it in a messenger bag before returning to the conversation to spare the unoriginal epithet of, "You are _genuiely_ acting like a child."

Alex glowered. "I'm actually acting like Alexander Hamilton."

 _"I'm actually acting like Alexander Hamilton_." Thomas imitated.

"Now who's being a petty child?" Alex asked, trying to channel just how unimpressed he was with the steady display of hypocrisy. Thomas didn't answer. Alex huffed, choosing to question, "Why are you here?"

"I'm celebrating." Thomas shrugged, tone casual, as though what he was doing should have been obvious.

"By..." Alex trailed off, glancing around him, searching for some sort of clue as to why Thomas decided that this was an appropriate celebration. "Running into a closing coffee shop?"

"By making you suffer." Thomas smiled. "Your spite motivates me."

Alex tried his best not to smile back, acting as though Thomas's reaction was an exasperating thing to be expected, though part of him warmed to the thought that Thomas had chosen him to spend time with. "You're lucky I'm too lazy to call the cops on your sorry ass."

"Aw, I feel touched." Thomas pressed his hand over his heart. Both of them knew full well that Alex enjoyed Thomas's attention, as ridiculous as it was. "You care about me too much to get me arrested."

"I don't care about you." Alex lied.

"You totally do." Thomas said.

Alex scowled at him, but didn't make a move to correct him. He moved backwards, grasping two cups and deciding that Thomas wasn't the only one that could be difficult. He promptly added all syrups known to the coffee shop, then located the remainder of the whipped cream.

"Holy shit, what _is_ that?" Thomas watched Alex's actions with increasing bemusement. "Are you trying to kill someone?"

Alex gave a non committal hum, placing the  cup on the counter before deciding to answer. "Not someone, just you."

"I would say thank you, but your intentions come from a place of malice." Thomas said. With an overly theatric air of caution, he picked up the cup ( _scoffed at the name 'Tumour_ ') and took a hesitant sip. Almost instantly, he recoiled. "What the _fuck_? I was going to ask for your phone number, but _damn_ , you tried to _poison_ me. I don't think I want it."

Alex looked up sharply. "You were going to do _what_?"

"What?" Thomas asked, feigning innocence. Alex narrowed his eyes, because Thomas was _not_ going to bullshit his way out of a comment like that.

"You said you were going to ask for my phone number." Alex said, placing his palms flat against the counter.

Thomas paused, pretended to consider Alex's words. "No, I didn't."

"You did!" Alex insisted. "I was right there!"

"Never said anything, Albatross."

Alex had to weigh up what offended him more; the continuous refusal of Thomas pronouncing his name, or the fact that Thomas had a sudden aversion to the truth. Alex eventually chose. "You are _such_ a liar."

"I am." Thomas readily agreed. Alex was given an unreadable look, then an almost imperceptible smirk. "What are you going to do about it?"

Alex felt something warm in his chest flip at the lowered tone. He tried to match Thomas's voice, leaning forwards slightly and resting his arms against the counter. "You'll just have to wait and see."

And Alex meant it, too.

Once he had started something, he was rather good at being tenaciously dedicated to his new cause. With any luck, Alex's plan would come to fruition in ten days, but his entire plan hindered on Thomas not being fucking oblivious all his life. Unfortunately, Alex wasn't so sure if it would work.

" _One_?" Thomas asked the next day, frowning. Then, cementing Alex's worries, Thomas added, "That sounds nothing like my name. Why would you write down a number?"

At some point, Alex was going to sit Thomas down and conduct a serious, heartfelt discussion about missing something _this_ obvious. Naturally, Thomas didn't notice his internal monologue since he was busy being an idiot. Normally, Alex would be fine with that, but this time he was towards something.

Worse yet, instead of getting a clue with what Alex was attempting, Thomas had decided that getting incredibly suggestive was the way forward. Even though Thomas was more than capable of causing heat to rise to his face, he had never been rendered speechless.

Again, Thomas showed pure, unadulterated confidence when letting his words hang heavily in the air between them, or letting a look linger just too long - yet the moment Alex reciprocated, Thomas would pause.

Alex soon learnt that, as long as he had the first word in, the hand was tipped firmly in his favor.

The fact that Alex was slowly distributing his phone number, one digit per day, was never brought up by Thomas. Alex knew that if the other man was completely aware about it, Thimas would find some way to mock him and still make himself ridiculously endearing.

Bt the fifth day, Alex was halfway through his phone number, and Thomas decided that now was the time to state; "Asher, you've never really gotten around to telling me your phone number."

Part of Alex died that day.

Thomas sensed his exasperation, and misplaced it as Alex, for some reason, being frustrated because he didn't want to share his number.

 

 

**

 

 

By the seventh day, Peggy took mercy on his soul. She siddled up to the counter where Alex was trying to serve clients. Alex, however, was trained to ignore all types of irritants, so Peggy's expectant look was answered a minute or so later (when all three clients were served).

"What?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.

Peggy glared at him for the tone (perhaps a little too harsh), andcshe crossed her arms, fingers taooing against her wrists. Rather bluntly, "You do know Thomas is aware of what you're trying to do, and he just enjoys being awkward and pissing you off?"

Alex froze. He looked around the coffee shop, as though asking if anyone else had heard what Peggy had just said, before he shook his head. "You're kidding."

"He's going to enter in about twenty minutes from now, you can ask him yourself." Peggy shrugged, not bothering to fight for her argument, primarily because they both knew this was something that Thomas would take great delight in doing, and think that his half-joke was nothing short of hysterical.

The twenty minutes passed tersely, turning into twenty- _five,_  and Alex was not impressed. After several minites of deliberation, he decided that direct and confrontational would be the easiest way to get answers.

The moment Thoas approached the counter, Alex greeted him with a falsely cheerful, "So, what is life like for a lying liar?"

"Wonderful." Thomas said slowky. "Sorry if I'm slow on the uptake but what have I done now?"

"You knew it was my phone number!" Alex hissed, leaning forwards so that his glare could gain maximum impact. "Damn, do you have any idea of how much bullshit you've made me deal with?"

"Vague idea." Thomas shrugged with a tiny grin. "Peggy might have already given me your phone numner and I just wanted to watch you get agitated."

Alex groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You were just going to left me act like an idiot, huh?"

"Oh, without a doubt." Thomas readily agreed. "We can discuss it over a movie sometime?"

And, whilst Alex was decisively not impressed by Thomas's asshole mentality, the fact that he had just been asked out had not escaped his notice and a sensation too familar to butterflies turned in his stomach. He couldn't hid his grin if he wanted to.

With a heavy empashis on the first word, Alex said, "Message me the details."

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I'd love friendships, so you can just slide into my DMs on instagrams  
> @procrastinating_dova
> 
> I just reAlly want friends and I don't have friends so yeah also if you do become friends with me you get pictures of my cats. I get friends, you get cat photos. Win-win situation.
> 
> Also this is a horrible fic I hate it but I've spent too long on it to just delete
> 
> But yeah hmu I want friends


End file.
